Reality Check

Back in August, the New York Times ran a front-page story in one of its Sunday sections titled “Maybe It’s Time for Plan C.”

The gist of the story was that many people who left safe, secure jobs to start their own businesses … or even those who started their own businesses because those safe, secure jobs weren’t so safe and secure anymore … were finding it harder than they thought it would be. Self-employment, they discovered–apparently to their surprise–didn’t mean an easier life.

And yes, I hear every single entrepreneur and self-employed person out there chuckling already.

The odd thing to me is that the New York Times thinks the fact that self-employment is hard–harder than just going to a set job every day–is not only news worth reporting, but front page news. Perhaps it’s because the editors at the Times have never worked for themselves. Or perhaps–equally perplexing–is the idea that there are actually people out there who took the plunge into entrepreneurship or self-employment without talking to a single person who’d ever done it, first. Of course, there are people, I’m told, who arrive at Everest base camp, fully intending on climbing the mountain, without ever having used crampons before. So I guess it’s possible.

Or maybe, the Times just understands that there are a lot of dreamers among their readership for whom having their own business is more of an escape fantasy than an actual passion or life dream. I kind of hope that’s it.

It is true, of course, that any adventure, from flying around the world to starting your own business, sounds a whole lot better ahead of time, in the dreaming stage, than it does when you’re in the thick of the challenge of it. I got an email in September from my soon-to-be-stepson Connor, who was living in a Yurt in Mongolia, herding yaks. (And no, I’m not making that up.) He took two weeks of Mogolian language classes in Ulaanbataar before heading out to live with the nomads, but still, he said he was struggling. And for an 18-year-old male to admit that says something. Of COURSE you’re struggling, I wrote back. What you’re doing there is HARD. That’s why most people don’t do it.

I often joke, in fact, that one should beware any sentence that begins, “Why doesn’t everybody…?” If everybody doesn’t do something, there’s generally a reason. And it generally has to do with how difficult or uncomfortable (or expensive) it is. And that goes for polished airplanes, flying relief supplies into African war zones, herding yaks with nomads in Mongolia … and, yes, working for yourself.

If what you really want is a fantasy, Walter-Mitty kind of adventure, go take an adventure vacation. It’s time-limited, supervised, and the amount of serious discomfort you will be exposed to is minimized. But real-life, uncharted, full-blown adventure? Expect not only discomfort, but unexpected discomfort. Because often, what’s toughest about any venture isn’t what you think it’s going to be. I suspect that Connor can handle sleeping on the ground and being cold pretty well. He was prepared for that. But being alone in a foreign culture that doesn’t speak your language and has mixed feelings about Americans, in a less-than-ideal family situation in very close quarters where you’re the outsider (and where they’re USED to the food) … that’s tough on a whole ‘nother level.

Of course, working our way through the unexpected discomforts is often where the greatest learning happens. But that’s why my entrepreneurial friends in Silicon Valley stress the importance of having a real passion for a new business venture. Not an “I can make money at this” energy, but a feeling that doing this thing is really important. Because that is what gets you through all the discomfort.

A publisher would perhaps find my approach too much of a downer. “People don’t want to know that it’s going to be hard,” one editor told me. “They want to feel upbeat. They want to focus on being happy.” Which might explain why the Times ends up printing stories heralding that “Plan B careers aren’t always the dreams people hope for.”

You might sell more Mongolian Yak adventure vacations by letting people keep the illusion that it’s all going to be wonderful. But boy are they going to be disappointed when they get there–and less able or likely to stick with it, when it proves harder than they signed up for.

Which is not to say that adventure, or self-employment, is nothing but hard. If it were, then truly, nobody would do it. I am (as anyone who’s read ANY of my stuff knows) a HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE proponent of the gifts and rewards of both adventure and following your dreams and passions for a career that’s fulfilling.

But … for any Times readers who missed that piece … it’s just that everything is a trade off. EVERYTHING. Like I told Connor–if you want to see the northern lights, you’re going to have to freeze your tail off in the Alaskan winter. If you want to be self employed, it’s true that there will be nobody forcing you to go to work at 8 am Monday morning. But there will also be nobody telling you to go home Friday night at 5 pm. You just have to figure out what matters to you most, and decide if the trade-offs involved to get it are worth it to you.

Understand that, and the world opens up to you.