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Question of the Day: What Makes us Happy?

We’ve gotten a few comments and emails from readers asking about this subject. One reader specifically suggested a Question of the Day about whether it was better to be happy, or good. Another reader left a really interesting comment about the conflicting desires for fulfillment and security, and the challenge of finding the right mix.

So, as the holidays approach—a time of year generally known for being a happiness minefield, I thought I’d take an initial crack at the subject. I say “initial” because it’s a pretty huge topic, far beyond what a single post can even scratch at. Many long books have been written on the subject, in fact, including one by the Dali Lama.

Doing a Google search for “happiness” is also a kind of scary exercise, unleashing a tidal wave of self-help guru advice and prescriptives so relentless that my first reaction was the old Monty Python adage, “Run away! Run away!” But dedicated editor that I am, I persevered to find some worthwhile links and sources on the subject.

So. If you have some time over the holidays and want to delve into why humans seem to have so much trouble figuring out what will make us happy, you could start with Happiness: A History, by Darrin McMahon. Seems the ancients had a very different view of happiness (although the Romans with their love of the phallus started to change things). But it apparently wasn’t until the Enlightenment that we started to view happiness as something we were entitled to (see: Jefferson and Declaration of Independence) or something we should pursue, as an end in and of itself, here on earth. I came across a really interesting review of the book, with comments from McMahon, and a nice Google Books preview.

But what is it that makes us happy? Hedonistic satisfaction? Love? Purpose? Ah, if it were only that simple. Certainly Victor Frank’s Man’s Search for Meaning and Rick Warren’s The Purpose-Driven Life (two very different approaches to similar subject matter) argue that we need something besides pleasure in order to be happy. But it’s more complex than just that. For example:

This short blog entry from “The Responsibility Project” looks at Bhutan, where they instituted a new constitution based on “Gross National Happiness.” Michael J. Fox, who’s battled Parkinson’s disease for many years, observes after a visit to Bhutan that “happiness increases proportionate to our acceptance, and decreases proportionate to our expectations.”

For a more academic take on what makes us “happy,” and what constitutes “happiness” anyway, there’s this journal article by Dan Haybron at St. Louis University. If you can work through the formal prose, it has some interesting points … about the difference between hedonistic pleasure and happiness, how “feeling happy” isn’t the same thing as “being happy,” and how a propensity to happiness may be a personality framework. In the end, he concludes, happiness is a state of “psychic flourishing.”

There are also a couple of books on the subject of happiness that have come out in the last few years. Daniel Gilbert’s Stumbling on Happiness, mentioned in a No Map. reader’s comment (above), lays out a case for how much our sense of happiness depends on anticipating things in the future, and how bad we are at matching what we imagine will make us happy and how we really feel, even if we get what we desire. He suggests that we ask others who already have what we imagine will make us happy, and make decisions based on their experience, rather than our own flawed imaginations.

One problem with Gilbert’s advice, of course, is that different things make different people happy. So if you’re going to ask someone’s advice and follow it, as a wise friend once said to me, you should be very careful about who you ask. And, in the end, nobody else is just like you. So even that advice needs to be taken with a grain of salt. But I found an Amazon review of Gilbert’s book at the above link particularly intriguing – Stan Vernooy argues that even if our imagination doesn’t match future reality, a large part of happiness, for humans, IS the pleasure we get from imagining future happiness. Worth reading, and food for thought.

Eric Weiner, an NPR correspondent and former Flying magazine editor, has a book out called The Geography of Bliss. I haven’t read it, but reviews say it’s an entertaining look at why some places and people in the world seem to be happier than others.

The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt looks back at how ancient traditions view happiness, and how those ideas play out in modern life.

And then … for anyone really looking for the lighter side, or just a few minutes of happy relief … two offerings:

If you can get past the hyper-marketing/self-help guru assault surrounding this list on “the happy guy” web site, there’s a good list of 25 people’s definition of what makes them happy. The range and perspective offered by these people is worth a look.

For something completely silly, and a little smile, if not outright happiness, there’s this video about Coca-Cola’s “happiness factory.” The first few minutes, showing a Rube Goldberg assembly line leading to a cold bottle of soda, are the best part.

As I digest some of this myself (no pun intended), I’ll add some of my own thoughts on the subject in a follow-up post.
In the meantime … have a HAPPY holiday season!!!!

Lane Wallace is the Editor and Founder of No Map. No Guide. No Limits.

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{ 2 comments… add one }
  • Bill Pierce December 14, 2009, 1:57 pm

    A smile on my Wife’s face, A good cigar, A sunny day to ride the Harley. Thats what I need to be happy. Not reading books about what being happy is.

  • Mike Huck December 16, 2009, 7:35 am

    I am …. so I’m happy. It takes a lot to knock me out of that condition. Even in the face of adversity, I’ll soon be happy, so…I’m happy. This really pisses off my wife.

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