Every January, the gym where I work out is jam-packed with new members. For about six weeks, it’s a frenetic zoo. And then … it goes back to normal. It’s as predictable as the coming of spring. The regulars remain. But all those good intentions of people wishing to change their fitness levels and workout routines just don’t last. Why is that? Answer: because change is hard. Old patterns and behaviors give up their dominance reluctantly, for a variety reasons—both neurological and psychological. This is hardly a news flash.
But exactly how ingrained our resistance to change is … that’s the first shocker of Alan Deutschman’s Change or Die (which started life as an article in the magazine Fast Company, and then became a book by the same title). Imagine, Deutschman says, that your doctor says that you must either change something about your lifestyle or die. You’d change, right? Wrong. Or, at least, wrong 90% of the time.
Yup. Statistically, a whopping one out of 10 people actually manage to effect and maintain changes they attempt … even when their lives depend on it. This is why diet centers will never go out of business. And, perhaps, why we shouldn’t expect spouses/girlfriends/boyfriends/significant others to magically alter ingrained dysfunction or habits. “I’ll change!” is the perennial cry of the about-to-be-jilted. But the sobering truth, according to many who study the subject, is, “No, you won’t. You’ll mean to. You’ll want to. You’ll even make a stab at it. But then you’ll slide back.” After all, if most of us don’t even manage change when our lives depend on it, a mere relationship or marriage isn’t going to tip the balance.
So, that’s the bad news. But wait! There’s hope, as well, Deutschman says. Just because people don’t tend to change doesn’t mean they can’t. He points to researchers like Dr. Dean Ornish, a professor of medicine at the University of California at San Francisco, who put heart disease patients on a rigorous diet and lifestyle change program for a year. Three years later, 77% of them had managed to maintain the lifestyle changes.
From that study, and the work of others who’ve looked at instances where individuals and companies have managed to effect lasting change on their attitudes and behavior, Deutschman draws several conclusions:
1. Carrots work better than sticks. Fear of death, surprisingly, is not as strong a motivator as a vision of a more enjoyable and satisfying life experience. When Omish stressed how much more his patients could enjoy their days and all their activities, including lovemaking, they tended to stick to the program more.
2. Change is not a rational process. Behavioral or attitudinal change requires a lot of emotional support, or at least support to address the underlying emotions that stand in the way, or stand out as motivating carrots. Alcoholics Anonymous figured this out a long time ago. Hence the weekly support meetings and mentors. Part of Omish’s success came from using the same methods: coaches, trainers, and weekly support meetings.
3. To change a behavior or belief, one also has to address the conceptual “framework” that the belief or behavior fits into. Facts by themselves, if they contradict a belief framework, tend to go in one ear and out the other. The source must be wrong. Hence our astounding ability to resist change even when we’re told we’ll die if we don’t. So to change a behavior or attitude requires offering a different framework or belief system that still resonantes with a person or group of employees, but in which the new behavior fits more easily. Deutschman gives the example of Apple Computer, where a beaten-down staff was revitalized and sparked to develop radically new ideas and innovations by framing their identity not as “the guys who lost market share to IBM” but as ultra-cool tech heroes who had the creativity and courage to “think different.”
4. Radical change is easier than small or gradual change. That might sound counter-intuitive, at first glance, but here’s the rationale: in the short period of time in which people are motivated to attempt change (e.g. during or following a crisis), radical change leads to faster and more quickly noticeable results. The quick results, then, inspire people to continue the change. An argument, Deutschman says, for overhauling companies (and perhaps even policies or systems) quickly and dramatically, rather than trying to ease change in over time. Or for designing programs that produce tangible, short-term wins and gains to encourage more innovation or change. (This is also one of the main premises of mergers and acquisitions expert Mark Feldman’s book Five Frogs on a Log. To learn more about the book, check out our Resources section.)
5. There’s apparently no scientific reason we can’t change—and significant scientific evidence that supports the importance of making the effort. Recent scientific studies indicate that we retain the ability to form new neural pathways and patterns throughout our lives. But our overall brain “fitness” apparently begins to decline after the age of 30 (for men) or a little after (for women). Just like with our muscles, the rule seems to be “use it or lose it.” Changing our habits, patterns, or belief systems, adapting to a new career or life situation, or learning new tasks, skills and languages all help keep our brains vibrant, and hold off deterioration. Fifty percent of people who live to be 85 develop dementia. But people who keep learning, taking on new challenges, and struggling through the difficulties of change can significantly improve their chances of staying in the healthy 50%.
Of course, if people don’t change even when faced with the prospect of death, I’m not sure avoiding dementia alone is a sufficient motivator to embrace new habits or challenges. But it certainly adds another layer to the equation. Regardless of whether we want to change, it seems that the process of adapting to new circumstances, or struggling to reshape our habits of mind, body, and work, carries its own rewards.
A reassuring thought at a time when we are awash in change and the need to reshape and rethink our lives, careers, priorities and assumptions.
(For more thought-provoking reading about change, take a look at our list of Resources on Change and Uncertainty.)
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So if a carrot works better than a stick, why do those about to be jilted say they will change and don’t when, I believe anyway, that staying with their partner and changing would be the biggest carrot of all? They would have a built in “emotional support” group of family and partner, on a daily basis and I would think not changing and having some of that support group fade away would be scary and, therefore, they would be highly motivated to change. So do they believe that they are “right” and, therefore, they really don’t need to change because everyone else is wrong? Or are they afraid of change – even if it is what is best for them, so they are paralyzed into not moving/changing/improving themselves and their lives? It is an interesting study.
Very helpful article. Since I’m in the process of making lifestyle changes (exercise, mostly), it’s quite timely for me.
Re: Ed’s comment on why people in relationships don’t change, even with the carrot of the continued support and enjoyment that continuing the relationship would offer … I’m not a psychologist (and would love to get a psychologist’s take on this, if any psychologists out there are reading this …) . But my layman’s take/guesses would be: 1) clearly, it’s complex . One carrot alone (as Deutschman’s interviews indicated) isn’t enough to do the trick. Otherwise, the statistics wouldn’t be as sobering as they apparently are. 2) Perhaps the reasons/rewards for a person’s existing (and problematic) behavior are an even stronger pull than the relationship they stand to lose by continuing them. Sad, but I think often true. Changing, for some people … especially if their behavior or patterns are a response to deep fears or childhood events, and change involves facing and working through those things … is even more painful or scary than losing a primary relationship. Denial and rationalization undoubtedly plays a part, as well. We’re complex creatures, that’s for sure. Which is why change is so hard … and why so many psychologists and mental health professionals are so gainfully employed.
Alan Deutschman is going to be on the expert hot seat soon in case anyone is interested. http://www.experthotseat.com
I think maybe we should take a look at what we mean by the term “change.” Implicit in this discussion seems to be the notion that change is a quantum event, that is, a single leap from one state to another, a la the famous “black body radiation” issue which troubled science in the late 19th century until Max Planck devised an explanation that gave birth to the whole discipline of quantum physics. Maybe the true nature of change is reminiscent of the much earlier Zeno’s arrow paradox, where movement (or here, change) can be described as a series of discrete points in time.
If we do that here, if we recognize change as a whole series of steps or even small changes, behavioral modification may seem less insurmountable or less frustrating, even if occupying more time. In fact, that is even suggested by ” Taking a Hero’s Journey” from Lane’s e-book, Surviving Uncertainty.
To take a page from Mr. Deutschman, if I am a candidate for recurrent heart disease, I must act so as to (1) limit my smoking, (2) stop smoking entirely, (3) limit my overall intake of food, (4) limit my red meat consumption, (5) begin a completely healthy diet, (6) begin a program of light exercise, (7) exercise moderately several times a week, (8) cope with professional stress, (9) spend time with my family, (10) reduce my health care insurance costs, and (12) reduce limits to my life insurability, to name a few. Here, the change demanded is an overall migration to a healthy lifestyle. That may be parsed into a series of tributary changes, which can be confronted along the way.
Maybe the upshot of this means that often we must recognize that we must chip away at our difficulties in a way that Sisyphus would appreciate and expect gradual improvement over time rather than hope for a quantum leap to success.
Hi, nice post. I have been pondering this issue,so thanks for posting. I’ll definitely be coming back to your blog.